We thought we lost you, welcome back

Well, I finally did it today. I had my ugly cry. Since Jude was born, I don't think my emotions have ever been able to catch up with the whirlwind of information my mind was trying to process. We were listening to The New Pornographers on the way back from dinner this evening in a celebratory mood. We found out that Jude's MRI showed no damage to the outside of his brain and only small "spots" in the middle parts of his brain. What this means is that we need to watch. The center of the brain controls learning, focus, memory, speech, and some motor skills. We will work closely with our pediatrician to watch for when he meets milestones. We will talk a lot about percentiles. We may find he needs speech therapy, physical therapy, reading strategies, or we may find he needs nothing. Having these thoughts along with the song lyrics led me to cry in pure relief.

The first chorus of "Adventures in Solitude" was the inspiration for the name of this post. It's the embodiment of what I would like to tell Jude today, "We thought we lost you. Welcome back." I'm so lucky that I was working so hard to get him out that my eyes were closed when they took him away. I never saw the six sets of hands working to revive him in the delivery room. I didn't have to watch while he was intubated. Looking at his first pictures and his pale little body, I finally understand how close we were to everything falling apart. Jude will be a normal kid. He will be able to care for himself, go to school, make friends, and break hearts. He's back and he's fantastic.

"Challengers" has lyrics that speak to where I think Jon and I are today. "Another vision of us, we were the challengers of the unknown...Whatever mess you are, you're mine." We feel ready to take on whatever comes our way. Parenting is all about taking on the unknown and loving your kid. I want nothing more than to get started on our life with our son. I can't wait for him to get home so we can get to know one another.

Hypervigilance Happens

We're here to feed Jude and say goodnight, and he's looking as good as ever. However, I'm as upset as I've been all day. Last night I knew he was stable, but the swallowing thing worried me all night. Now he's just as stable, but he's shivering every few minutes. The nurse, when we called her attention to it, told us that she knew and that she was keeping an eye on it. She said it was not uncommon for infants who had been through a lot of stress and difficulty to get jittery as they get tired. Jude did have a big day, we fed him, played with him, held him, messed with him, lots of stuff. I can see where he would be exhausted. Still though, anytime the EEG says watch out for seizures and he's shivering, I can't help but get scared.

I really do trust the nurses and pediatric staff here so much. they've been so wonderful with Jude and his care. It's just hard to see, and hard not to worry. When you think you've lost him once, then you get your hope back, it's precarious for a while. My brain knows this is nothing to worry about, but it needs to communicate better with the rest of me.

I really don't mean to be a downer. My spirits are good. I guess I'm tired and, well, hypervigilant.

Tonight we told Jude all about the bears he was allowed to trust and not trust.

Trustworthy:
Paddington (a gentleman)
Baloo (don't go to the jungle to see him, though)
Care (except for the one with the cloud)
Gummi (tasty)
Hair Bear Bunch (hippies)
Bears from toilet paper commercial (sellouts, but well-meaning)

Non-trustworthy:
Grizzly
Polar (except at zoo, only behind fence)
Teddy Ruxpin (actually a robot)

I admit it's getting better

Such good news today: Jude is swallowing and off his oxygen tube. He's holding his vitals very well, and at noon, they let us feed him real food! He started small, since he's never eaten anything, but he ate so well. Amanda put the bottle in his mouth and he didn't really know what to do with it for about fifteen seconds. As soon as he got a little, he sucked down all 10 cc's and burped before she even had him upright to pat him on the back. It was awesome.

We're watching now to make sure his digestive tract is working, often when infants have trauma early on, all the blood goes to the vital organs - the brain, heart, lungs, kidneys, and liver, and the GI tract gets left behind. I haven't heard that he's had any trouble keeping it down, so that's good. They'll feed him 10 cc's at a time every 3 hours today, and if all goes well, he'll get increasing amounts of milk starting tomorrow. Also, they're actually going to let Amanda nurse tomorrow, barring any setbacks (she's been pumping and saving it at the NICU, and that's what he's eating today). All such great stuff.

More good news: His EKG from yesterday showed no signs of pulmonary hypertension. His EEG showed nothing major, but did show a little intermittent activity on the left side of his brain that could potentially put him at risk for seizures. They didn't seem too worried about that, and we'll just have to watch him to make sure we catch any potential seizure activity early. They've scheduled a brain MRI for tomorrow so that we can see what areas of his brain might be damaged.

Every day we've gotten better news and again, I can't describe how helpful everyone's support has been. Thank you sincerely.

We will go back and feed him again this evening, and we'll anxiously be awaiting his MRI results. We're definitely not out of the woods yet in terms of brain damage, but today's nurse said something today that struck me at the core in reference to his ability to be happy and healthy relatively soon: that Amanda and I might need to start thinking of Jude as "a regular baby, not a sick one." Exhale.

Cue the steel drum (Feelin' Hot Hot Hot)

Jude's nurse last night and the one today decorated his bulletin board and white board with a "weather report" forecasting rising temperatures. At around 10 am, they began the warming process, and around 4:30 they took him off the blanket completely. Shortly thereafter he cam off the sedative, and the process of just watching begins.

The report today includes, good, bad, and great news:

Good: They did another EKG (unofficially described to us by the tech as fine), and they did another EEG (described as "boring," which, for Jude, is exactly what we want; it means no seizures). Also, they've all but ruled out liver, kidney, and heart damage.

Bad: He's still not swallowing. Every twenty to thirty minutes, his airway gets blocked by secretions that he hasn't swallowed and they have to suction out his nose and throat. It has yet to do any damage to him, but if he can't swallow, he can't eat; and if he can't eat, he can't come home. The nurse tonight was pretty vague on how concerned they were that he wasn't swallowing yet. She seemed a little more concerned that I was comfortable with. I have to figure that he'll figure it out, though. All his other motor functions (eyes, limbs, mouth, etc.) seem just fine, and I would think it would be a very bizarre, specific injury that would cause only the swallowing mechanism to be depressed. I don't know what I'm talking about, of course.

Also, I've yet to hear him cry or cough. All his sound are gurgles and squeaks. I'm hoping that's all a function of the swallowing. I don't want it to, but the worry about this is sticking around for me, and it's a little scary. I guess I'm starting to feel like we've had such a run of good news that we're due for some bad. Of course, I know I'm a statistician and that doesn't make sense :)

Great: WE GOT TO HOLD OUR BABY. AND CHANGE DIAPERS. AND DIDN'T GET PEED ON. The view from above is so much better than the view from beside. I found myself just babbling about anything and everything, like I wanted him to learn everything I know tonight. Great times. And seeing Amanda hold him felt incredibly right.

Speaking of the mrs., I'm so proud of her. I think this is all starting to catch up with her physically, and I hate it for her. She's pumping every two hours, which is way more demanding than we expected, I think, and between that and going to see the baby, resting, and eating, it's very hard for her to maintain a balance of baby care, getting enough calories (for nursing), eating the right foods (for her prescribed diet after her injury), getting enough fluid, and getting enough rest. She's amazing and doing it all, but we need to consciously take a breather every now and then.

Sorry about the length of this one, guess I had a lot to say.

The dogs are home!

Jude!

First pic is Jude and I at about an hour and a half after birth, and the next two are this morning, after the transfusion and about 48 hours on ice. GNOME WARRIOR!

Chillin'

First, I'll say that Jude is way more relaxed today than at any point before. He's on the same amount of sedative as yesterday, but his legs are relaxed, his toes are together, and his arms are away from his chest. He's doing exactly what they want him to be doing, which is holding all his vital signs steady and relaxing.

For those of you who are interested in the facts as we know them right now, here's what I see as pertinent, keeping in mind that we still don't know for sure what's wrong.

- He was born after being without oxygen for about 6 minutes, due to a placental abruption (separation of the placenta from the uterus) and a nuchal cord (u-cord around the neck)

- He had a 1-minute Apgar score of 1, meaning he had a pulse, and not much else

- He gasped for breath at about 10 minutes after birth, and was breathing on his own within an hour

- He had a very acidic blood Ph due to lactic acid in the blood, which was treated and eventually corrected with sodium bicarbonate

- he had a seizure at some point within the first four hours, making him a candidate for the cooling blanket

- His EKG showed some pulmonary hypertension, and his EEG and cranial ultrasound were normal

- He was very irritable for the first two days on the blanket, but is much more relaxed now

Based on all these things, I'm optimistic. I'm the kind of person that likes to have a story that explains things (watching too much House, I suppose). My hope is that there was never any major brain injury due to lack of oxygen (which is why he was able to breathe on his own so soon), his seizure was caused by the low pH (which is very possible), and the hypertension and irritability was caused by a combination of the irritation of the brain due to the hypoxia and the discomfort of the cooling process.

I don't know that this is what happened, but that's the story I'm hoping for and it makes sense to me.

Tomorrow is a huge day. He gets warmed up at 10am, it will take six hours, and if he's responding well, we will GET TO FINALLY HOLD HIM. Cross your fingers for us.

Finally, we get the dogs back tomorrow too. It's funny when things go so wrong how much you look forward to your familiar comforts, and petting Lucy and getting licked by Clara will only help our coping, I'm sure.

Coming soon, PICS, I promise.

Relax!

Jude is looking better all the time in that he is pink (from the transfusion), and he is more relaxed. The nurse this evening was concerned with him flexing his feet and keeping his hands in fists, so she put a blanket under his feet and he has started to let his feet rest there. They also upped his fentanyl to a very low dose drip that is helping him to relax. He's about halfway through his treatment and due to be warmed up on Monday. It will take about 6 hours to bring Jude back to regular baby temperature. We'll most likely be able to hold him for the first time on Monday evening :) We will be going home tomorrow, and I'm going to focus on getting the house ready for Jude to come home rather than the fact he is not home yet. I feel like he needs to be at the hospital, so while I want him home with us, I don't worry about him in the NICU. Plus, the time at home will give us full nights of rest before he comes home and time for me to continue to heal.

Tonight when I grabbed Jude's foot, he moved his other foot over to touch my hand too.

Tests and tests

We got some cautiously positive news from the NICU doc today. After an EKG, EEG, and a cranial ultrasound, and after monitoring all his various readings, the doctor told us that, if he continues to hold steady where he is, the damage (if any) will probably be classified as mild. He continued to say that mild-damage patients are the ones who respond best to the cooling blanket.

Obviously, we're not out of the woods yet, and he's going to need a transfusion today, but I'm so relieved right now. i confirmed with the nurse, and clarified that this mainly means that, barring setbacks, major damage to the brain is looking less and less likely. Even this little bit of news gives us so much hope.

Longest Day EV-ER

The longest day of our lives is slowly grinding to a halt. The range of emotions, the tears shed, and the prayers said for Jude today have exhausted us all. I was so happy Jon mentioned going home to sleep in our bed since he had little luck sleeping here at the hospital last night and our room for this evening is even less hospitible. My mom is with me and Jon's mom is with him and Jude is on ice in the NICU.

Jon will most likely report the medical events of today in regard to Jude, as he heard them first hand. I have been visiting a bit less frequently due to my injury, and when we are there I am so mesmerized by the baby that I hardly listen to the conversation. I know I am his mother, but the kid is darling. Even when chilled to 91 degress and covered in wires he looks like such a champ. He weighs 7 pounds and is 21.5 inches long. He has a long torso like Jon and long fingers and toes like me. He's been fussy today because of the cooling blanket, and he most likely has a killer headache after the violent birth. However, if you recall my post a few days ago about him putting his feet into my bottom rib like a swimmer, one of the things the nurse said will make him relax is when she applies some resistance to the bottom of his foot. He is immitating something that comforted him in the womb. With all the research with swaddling blankets and the comfort it provides newborns, I am not surprised that he is searching for something that reminds him of his most recent environment. We can't hold Jude or cuddle with him or feed him, but pushing on that kid's foot today was incredible.

A Cool kid?

Another big thank you to all of you who have written and emailed and commented to us over the last 30 hours or so. Your thoughts have really kept us going.

An update: Amanda is feeling much better - a sponge bath and some Vicodin can work wonders, I'm told, but she's still in obvious pain. The say we'll be discharged in the normal 48 hours, so we'll head home Sunday morning if all goes well. She's also on a liquid diet, which sucks, but she just inhaled her lunch of broth, tea, milk, grape juice, and "strawberry health shake," which smelled as good as it sounds.

Although we will go home Sunday, Jude won't. His type of trauma and the fact that he starting exhibiting signs of seizures made him an ideal candidate for cooling blanket therapy, a new treatment in which babies under six hours old with oxygen-deprived brains are cooled to mild controlled hypothermia over the course of three days in order to slow the brain's metabolism and possibly halt further damage to brain cells. It's a well-received treatment from my cursory research, with no reported adverse effects, and the Cerebral Palsy society cited that it can defend against 16-27% of potential brain damage. Also, the RN assigned to Jude participated in the original two clinical trials of the treatment, so she knows what she's doing with it.

Of course, we don't know for sure that there's anything wrong yet. The best-case scenario, according to the NICU head, is that there was some trauma, but no lasting damage, and that he'll be fully functional (a story that some of you have shared with us, and, believe me, inspired us with). The worst-case scenario involves possible CP, Mental retardation, blindness, deafness, and other assorted neurological conditions.

Right now, he's listed as being "Guarded, Stable," which means he's not getting any worse, and they really don't know what's wrong, if anything at all. The scary part is that he was having mild seizure-like symptoms (without the telltale BP drop).

Amanda and I know, though, that whatever Jude does or doesn't have, we'll work with it, love him, and give him everything we can. We're a great team, and I feel like we're up to any challenge as parents.

Update: He turned to face Amanda when he heard her voice. Awesome. Maybe no deafness?

First Baby Live-blog GO!

11:51 - We're here in the room, Amanda's hooked to an IV of Oxytocin and we're rolling along. I'd say she's been medicated now for about two and a half hours, and she's doing great. The contractions are definitely setting in, and they seem painful, but she giving the ol' natural birth thing a try (in terms of painkillers). I hope that she's ale to get through that way, since she seems to want to, but we're not by any means aginast the use of modern medicine. We'll see how it goes.

Current distractions: Leaning over the birthing ball and listening to "Don't Change Your Plans" by Ben Folds 5.

12:05 - There's some kind of incessant beeping going on. It's very loud and seems to be getting faster. Not like a "your heart is beating" bepp, but a "the elevator door is opening" beep. Hmm.

Now: Uncle Tupelo - Sandusky

12:10 - It was the IV machine. Low batteries.

1:08 - Amanda seems to have either developed a greater pain tolerance or the contractions aren't quite as bad. She got some sleep while I crammed a Quizno's(tm) Italian sub in my mouth down in the cafeteria, deciding to eat a big lunch in hopes that I'd be busy at dinnertime. Mom, Ashley, and Dad (whose flight home was cancelled after midnight last night) are here now, and it's a big pow-wow in the L&D room. Thanks for the comments, and keep them coming! I like to think Amanda feeds off the vibes.

On another note, this room is pretty sweet. Way nicer than the room we'll be in after the baby's born.

1:27 - Dilated 4cm! Progess! The baby will fly out any minute now. Or hour. Day?

2:10 - Here we are, two to three hours after we usually eat lunch, and Amanda's starting to show signs of hunger. They say that she's only allowed clear liquids and ice, but wow. It seems to me that fuel would be important on a day like today. Apperently, there was a study done in the 1950's that showed that women who required anesthesia during labor and delivery and who experience nausea from the anesthesia have of small chance of aspirating and then choking on any food they've eaten. Because of this study, hospitals are very wary of allowig women to eat, for liability reasons. Whatever.

I've been sneaking her bites of granola bars and Starburst, and have offered to go get her some Waffle Fries from downstairs. She declined the fries with a mild look of disgust, but we'll see how she feels in a few hours.

2:48 - The doctors just came in for another exam and decided to manually rupture the amniotic sac to see if they could get things going. Apparently Jude's head is corking up the cervix, so it was kinda difficult, but they were successful and now there's no turning back. The doctors said the pain will increase now, and Amanda just told me I may need to start censoring things she'll say. I'll just use my own judgment.

This day is going so much faster than I imagined it would. I expected a long, draining experience, but it's really been fast and progressive. I'm really glad things are moving along, albeit slowly, and am getting more and more excited.

We took bets on time, weight, and length.

Amy: 9:37, 8lbs8oz, 21.75 in.
Jon: 6:15, 8lbs10oz, 21 in.
Amanda: 7pm, 8lbs8oz, 21 in.
Ashley: 7:30, 8lbs7oz, 21 in.
Jan: 6:35, 8lbs10oz, 20.5in.

Winner gets to hold the baby.

3:02 - Amy also bets it's a boy.

4:00 - The contractions are coming on pretty strong and fast now. of course, she's still hooked up to the Petocin, so we'll see if that's the cause or if her body has taken over, but the doctors seem to think that she's moving along well. It's getting harder for her, but she's doing great. We're still laughing and making jokes, and she's being wonderful.

During her last contraction, she did the Apache dance.

4:30 - Contractions even stronger, she decided she wants the music back on.

4:45 - The music has really helped set a calm serene mood for this set of contractions. At this point she's sitting on the birthing ball, which removes pressure from her back while still allowing gravity to do its thing. She's focusing and breathing through the contractions and is being a champ. She's pretty zen, if zen wore a green gown.

We're a little concerned that the doctors haven't been in in quite a while and I'm wondering about effacement and dilation at this point.

Music: Guster, Hang on and Neko Case, Star Witness

5:48 - We've had a bit of a setback. The doctors just came in and she's no more dilated than she was the last time they checked a few hours ago. They decided to insert a uterine monitor to determine the strength of the contractions from the inside. The downside of that is that she has to stay on the bed, where the pain is much worse. The anesthesiologist is on his way, and she's going to talk about different options. The doctors think we might be in for a long night, unfortunately. I hate to see her so sick with pain. Hopefully this can start progressing.

7:36 - The last couple of hours have involved a visit with the anesthesiologist, an epidural administration, and a quick panic when her BP dropped to 79/43. After some smelling salts and a shot of epinephrine, she's stable and feeling great. I know she wanted to do it naturally, but everything we've heard about Pitocin is that the contractions are so strong that it's almost impossible to go without some sort of pain meds. Unfortunately, the last cervical exam about an hour ago showed no more dilation, so it feels like we're kinda stuck.

All told, I'm pretty upset. i never felt like the induction was necessary, since Amanda had a late ovulation, we're only a week past the due date, and the non-stress test showed a healthy placenta. We felt pressured to have it, and although we know we agreed to it, I'm starting to feel like her body was just not ready to deliver this baby. The artificial contractions brought on by the induction are just pain for something that's not ready to happen yet. I know the baby's going to be healthy, and that Amanda's going to be fine, and that we won't care in a few hours after Jude is born, but that doesn't change how I feel right now.

All that said, we're here, she's feeling great, and I'm about to eat dinner. We're going to have a baby before we go to sleep tonight, and that's awesome. We're going to stay positive and enjoy each others company (and try not to think about the c-word).

8:21 - Well, we know why the pain was so bad earlier. The baby is "sunny side up," as they say. He's head-down, which is good, but also facing up, which is bad. She's no more effaced than at 3:00 this afternoon, and she's still only dilated 5cm. Spirits are cautiously high in the room though, since Amanda's feeling good and chatty. I can't help but feel a could though, since it's progressing so slowly. I'm excited and wary, i guess. I can't stress enough how cool Amanda is being. She's got tubes in, tubes out, monitors, and a revealing gown, and is still the same old Amanda.

9:37 - We've passed the 12-hour mark! No news yet on any progress. Chris, Ashley and I entertained Amanda with high school forensics pieces. Chris and I did a Duo, then Ashley did Poetry, then an Impromptu by Chris, then an Extemp by me. We were really good. We totally would have won the room.

10:24 - 5.5cm, 50% effaced, station -3. In other words, he's still pretty comfortable. He is starting to flip over a little, which is nice. We're changing his expected birthdate to Friday, July 25.

11:12 p.m. - Amanda here. I'm kinda bored because I'm on my knees in bed leaned over on the birthing ball for support. Because Jude is "sunny side up," we're trying to turn him over in this position. I'm as comfortable as one can be when bent over a ball, and with the moms and Jon here the mood is relaxed and supportive. We are all getting really sleepy, but it's going to be a long night. I'm trying to just relax, and while I can't sleep, I can get very relaxed. After all of these hours here with minimal dilation, I'm glad I went for the epi. It wasn't the plan, but plans change and back labor and no dilation for 14 hours is good cause.

11:50 pm - The doc came in and told us to get some sleep, which is discouraging since it means she doesn't think we should expect anything for a while. Of course, just as we settle in, Amanda's anesthesia starts to wear off on the right side of her body, so sleeping isn't an option right now. The anesthesiologist is finishing another epidural and then he'll be here to re-administer. Hopefully it'll be soon, since we could all use some rest.

2:46 am - Amanda is dilated "a good 6," according to our current nurse. We've been sleeping off and on for the last few hours, and we're hoping something can happen by 7 or so. The current concern is that her foot is pretty swollen, and we're not sure why. I told her it's definitely gout.

3:08 am - moving along fast now...8cm a half hour ago, 9cm now....maybe a baby before dawn!

3:20 am - The room is set up for delivery, so hopefully this is the last post before the big one. Thanks so much for all your comments. They really helped Amanda cope with this LONG day. Cross your fingers for a safe delivery!

4:49 am - No baby yet. No pushing yet. They turned off the epidural so her pushes can be stronger, better-timed, and overall more effective. We've been waiting for the feeling to come back for a while now. She's definitely feeling the contractions again, but still no pushing. Every time I leave the room, there's a development. I go to the bathroom, she dilates. I go get a drink, the doctor does an exam, etc. We've decided that I should go home and get some more pants (since I packed everything but pants), and the baby will be here when I get back. Also: getting loopy. Haven't pulled an all-nighter since some time in high school. That's right, not even college.

6:29 am - Jude came at 6:05, there were complications. He had the cord around his neck and wasn't breathing. The placenta had also started to seperate from the uterus too early. They had to do an emergency forceps extraction, since there was no time for an emergency C-section. Amanda is ok, despite stitches and a liquid diet for a couple weeks. Jude is in the NICU, the doctors are vague about any prognosis. Shock, for now.



10:17 am - I've seen Jude, and he's breathing and his heart is beating. His skin is the right color now, versus his pale white at birth. His motor reflexes aren't quite right, and his neuro scans are still abnormal, but they say they may still correct themselves. We do know he's going to live, which I can't even express. They're monitoring him, since he's at risk for seziures and liver or kidney problems. Prognosis is anywhere from perfectly normal to permanent brain trauma. We'll just have to see. Thank you all so much for your well-wishes, thoughts, and prayers, and we will keep you updated.



Amanda had a rough go of it, having to get an episiotomy of the most major kind. She's not feeling great, but she's about to see her baby for the first time, which will help immensely.

Good news

I had the non-stress test today and an ultrasound to check the fluid around Jude and both tests went well. The receptionist mentioned that some moms check in for those tests and are sent straight to the hospital. (Dear receptionist: Not nice, lady. Be positive!) Anywho, I was/am feeling good and Jude is moving well and the tests came back as expected with good results.

I'm feeling way better today than I was last night about the induction. The baby weighs about 8 1/2 pounds right now, so he is at a good size. I don't want to wait for there to be something wrong before we induce. After seeing his little face on the television in the ultrasound room today I just couldn't put off meeting him any more.

We had a great day today. Good tests this morning, lunch out, restful afternoon, Lexington Barbecue, and a Warthogs game that included a pretzel with mustard. Tomorrow we're planning a walk, lunch out and a romantic dinner where I will carbo load for the labor ahead. Tomorrow is prep day and the day after will change our lives forever.

Thursday is the big day

The baby is lower and my cervix is soft, but I am dilated the same amount I was last week, 2 cm. The doctor has me scheduled for an induction on Thursday morning. The hospital will call me Wednesday night to tell me what time to be at the hospital. It all kind of depends on if they have any emergencies or an unexpected number of folks needing to deliver. Unless I go into labor Tuesday or Wednesday, Jude's birthday will be July 24, 2008.

I'm so excited to meet my son, so I am hanging on to that while I deal with how I feel about being induced. I had images in my head of Jon timing my contractions at home and being able to spend time here before we had to go to the hospital, of walking in our neighborhood and relaxing together until it was time. Now from contraction 1 to the last, we'll be in some strange room. I've never been in the hospital before and I guess those fears are mixing with the ones I have of the machines I'll be hooked to and the drugs that will be in my veins. I just hope my body gets the message and takes over the contractions and we can scale back on all the medical equipment. I'm sure that by the weekend I'll feel silly for even feeling this way because I'll be home with my family, but it doesn't make it any easier right now. But I'm tired and I'm hot, so I'm going to go to bed and try to drop all these icky vibes. He could still come today or tomorrow.

Due date +4

Today was another fun day with the fam. We had our usual walk at the lake and lunch at home. The afternoon was a restful one in the air conditioning that concluded with a gut-busting dinner at Fuddruckers. I was asked by the lady working when I was due, and, after my response, she politely requested that I wait until I leave to go into labor. The picture is from 40 weeks. I guess we'll have to take another on Wednesday :) The other picture of Jon is on the same day. I don't think he meant to wink, but it's cute either way. He's also repin' the Saints.

What's nice about it being Sunday is that I will have a baby within the week--by chance or by force, Jude is coming. We have an appointment in the morning when we will set an induction date. I am hoping the heartbeat is good and whatnot as well. I have a feeling everything is just fine based on the amount of time Jude spends squirming around. It's so strange after he goes from having enough room to really kick me to now being in there so tight that he only has room to wiggle, or rather, wriggle. I feel like he has his toes wrapped around my bottom rib and is using my bladder as a pillow. It's like a swimmer on the starting block for the back stroke.

Due date +3

Today was Brasfield-fest '08 in the Triad. We have Jon's mom and dad here along with C&A. The only person missing is Jude! We had a great walk this morning, despite the humidity. We had lunch with the family at Elizabeth's Pizza in Kernersville. Jon and I had the steak and cheese, which, if you add banana peppers, is hard to beat. We topped off the meal with "The Dark Knight" at the Grand. The movie is very dark and full of action without being over the top. Heath Ledger as the Joker is a new and different take on the role. The makeup, green hair, and purple suit are all still there but he wears them in a completely different way. One thing that Jon noticed is the lack of back story given to the Joker. Too much movie time is often given to explain why the bad guys are bad, and it is so much more powerful to have a villain who is bad because he was born that way.

Jon has had his money on the 20th as the Jude's birthday, so we'll see tomorrow.

Just so we don't forget: Jon and Chris decided to have a little league team called the Roaring Tornado ChickenSharks.

Due date +2

As I write this I am sitting on the birthing ball still waiting for something to happen. We walked both this morning and this evening after dinner, but baby Jude is still cozy in the womb. We even played Jude's music to try to croon him out, but alas he was not interested. I got a little down today after we went to the grocery. I remember last week when we were wondering if that trip would be our last as a duo. It wasn't and that's OK. The baby and my body aren't ready yet, so I have to be patient. I really appreciate all the folks who have offered kind words and advice while we are waiting. Our friend Anne has been especially helpful, as she was in the same position not too long ago.

Jon's parents and C&A are coming to visit tomorrow and I am thankful to have the distraction. We're planning on going to see The Dark Knight, which we have been looking forward to for a long time. I wonder if Jude just wanted to give us a chance to see the movie before he made his move?

Due date +1

Well, we had a few contractions this morning during our walk, but nothing consistent. We went to Whole Foods afterward to buy some evening primrose oil. The gel caps are supposed to help soften my cervix and came recommended by a friend who's been beyond the due date. While at Whole Foods we ate lunch. I had a vegetable roll from the sushi stand and Jon had a cranberry tuna sandwich. We shared a cup of fruit. Eating lunch at Whole Foods is delicious, but oh my can it be expensive. We did find that you can choose one of their prepared dinners and a salad and be out the door for $14.99. It looked like the whole meal could feed at least four and we may get one while our visitors are here.

I worked a little bit outside this evening until the mosquitoes became interested in my feet. I scrubbed the deck chairs and trimmed about 1/3 of the bushes at the back of the yard. I enjoyed the time outside, and I figured it beat sitting on the couch as an activity to bring on labor.

Due Date!

Today is the due date, and I am a mere 2 cm dilated. The baby's head is down, so that is good. I have another appointment Monday and if I don't have the baby by then, she is going to schedule an induction for the end of the week (24th-25th). In the mean time on Tuesday I have a non-stress test and ultrasound to check the baby's heartbeat over time and fluid levels. Needless to say, I'm hoping the full moon this week will be enough to get this baby on his way. I really don't want to be induced and I told the doctor that. She was receptive to waiting a little more dependent on the tests on Tuesday.

I think I'm OK with the baby not being here yet, but I did not want to talk about being induced. I have thought through how I would like for things to go many times and in every scenario labor started on its own. I had only really thought about plans changing after I was already in labor. I have just never really thought about having to go to the hospital and have a bunch of stuff hooked up to me and things starting artificially. There are other options of natural inductions (you can google that on your own), but I don't really want to do anything without the doctor's input.

I did have one good contraction this afternoon, but, like all the others, it was an isolated occurrence. The baby is moving around a lot, so that's good. I'm hoping he aims for the weekend.

Tomorrow is the due date

Tomorrow is the big day! (Not really, it's just the end of the countdown). So far, there's not really any sign that anything is going to happen tomorrow, but there are often no signs. I have a doctor's appointment in the morning and I'm hoping we can hear something good about getting this baby out! Jon found an online poll today that seemed to indicate that there's no better chance of having your baby early as having it late. Thanks to some quick math, we determined there is a 97 percent chance of me having the baby in the next two weeks. :) It's so odd that childbirth, something that happens every day, every minute all around the world, is basically impossible to predict. Since we found out I was pregnant, I've had my money on the 17th and Jon has thought it would be the 20th. There is a full moon on Friday, July 18, so maybe it will be then.

Today's induction attempts included a 3+ mile walk and a Cheesy Crunch Wrap with hot sauce (inspired by a dream Chrissy had). I did have a really good contraction at 2:15 but have felt nothing since. Don't get me wrong--I'm not reaching for the Castor oil yet. I just feel like a little spicy food may help Jude find his way out. My stomach, however, has always been made of steel, so I'm thinking that spicy food isn't going to do the job.

We did get out this evening and went to a barbecue at the home of one of Jon's professors. The food was great and we had the chance to visit with a lot of people who wished us well. It was fun, I must admit, to watch folks marvel at my slim ankles, unable to believe nothing was swollen. I didn't realize what an exception this pregnancy has been, but apparently feeling good at 40 weeks is unusual. I'm a lucky lady.

KABOBS!

A few weeks ago, Harris Teeter made some kabobs. We purchased the kabobs and Jon cooked them. Here is the evidence.

Just a bit longer until the due date and a smoothie recipe

Contraction total today: 0
Time between contractions: 36 hours and counting

So no baby today despite our daily walk, a chili dog with hot sauce, and the proximity to the due date.

In other news, here is a smoothie recipe that tastes great but makes a HUGE mess if the bottom of the blender is not securely fastened. I caused great alarm when I screamed as smoothie ran all over the counter, into the floor, and onto my pants and feet. I also recommend peaches and blueberries from your local farmers market.

Before you start put two glasses in the freezer to chill.
Use a half cup of each - peaches (peeled and sliced), blueberries, vanilla yogurt, orange juice.
Two big scoops of ice cream.
Blend in blender with securely fastened bottom.
Enjoy!

3 days

I had another contraction! They're only 24 hours apart! One is better than none, I suppose. Jon and I walked this morning at the lake. We took what will hopefully be our last trip to the grocery as a duo. We've been sure to stock up over the past few weeks so that our first days home with the baby will be low stress.

Jon made a great dinner tonight--a frittata with red peppers, egg beaters, cheese, onions, and yellow squash. He paired the dish with peach and blueberry smoothies. The combination was like the embodiment of summer. The fruit all came from the farmers market. The meal was also meatless without lacking protein for a lighter feel. Both dishes were beautiful too. I wish I had taken a picture.

4 days until due day

For those of you reading for baby updates: no Jude yet. We walked again this morning and had lunch at home. Jon found that the Durham Bulls had a home game tonight, so we called our friends in the Triangle and headed east. C&A met us at Maggiano's Little Italy where we indulged in the Spinach salad with gorgonzola, roasted red peppers, and bacon. We shared two entrees the baked ziti with sausage and four cheese ravioli. Maggiano's has a great family-style menu, so I recommend it as a great place to take a group. The food was really good and we all left full, but not too full to partake in some ballgame goodness.

We should have a baby by this time next week. Crazy.

5 more days

Grand total of contractions today: 1
Time between contractions: 10 hours
I'm thinking today is not the day :0)

We started the day with our walk and came back home for showers and lunch. Jon made a great stir fry dish with some spice, broccoli, red peppers, and pineapples. We then left for the Farmers Market to take part in Peach Day festivities. After sampling free peach ice cream topped with a fresh peach, we receive peach related information from none other than the North Carolina Peach Queen herself. It was my first encounter with royalty in 2008. We purchased a basket of peaches and some blueberries with the intent to make smoothies over the weekend. One of the best parts of having fresh peaches in the house is the sweet, summer smell of the fruit.

The North Carolina Peach Festival is the third Saturday in July each year in Candor, NC, if you're feeling the fuzz.

6 days

Today was the last doctor's appointment before the due date. It was uneventful, as usual. I'm not really a very interesting case, medically speaking--blood pressure is good, baby's heart beat is good, no swelling, etc.

I'm measuring about one week behind the calculated due date, which really doesn't mean a thing. The measuring isn't exact and only 5 percent of kiddos come on their due date anyway. UPDATE: I think I just had a contraction. I feel like I have to say "I think" because my determination is based on things I've read and not actually experienced. I know it's not Braxton Hicks though because I have them when we walk sometimes and they don't hurt. Unfortunately, one real contraction doesn't really mean a whole lot. Some folks have contractions for weeks before they have their babies. At least I know something in there works :)

Also today we had North Carolina State Trooper Stell come by to check our car seat. He went through some tips and techniques to make sure the seat is installed correctly to keep the baby safe in an accident and in transport. This, of course, thrilled me because of my not-so-secret desire to be a state trooper. I don't know if it's the hats or the regulation grays or what, but it looks like a cool job to me. I noticed he had a taser on his belt in addition to the regular regalia. It appeared to take up what little space was left next to the handcuffs and Beretta. I'll admit it, I wanted to try on that belt, but they don't make them in maternity.

One week

We've got one more week until the due date! After our walk today we ventured to Skippy's on 4th Street. We found out about it from Smitty's Best of Winston-Salem. Skippy's was voted best hot dog and runner-up for best meal under $5. We both had the Chicago Dog and split a basket of hand cut fries. The special thing about Skippy's is that everything is served on a pretzel roll and made to order. I must admit, in ordering the dog with tomato, banana peppers, relish, a dill pickle, onions, celery salt and mustard I had hoped some contractions would follow. Alas, I am writing this from home and not the hospital.

For all those planning on coming to see us, check out the best of website. Many of the restaurants have links to their websites and you can make a list of places you may be interested in going while you are here. Yummm.

8 more days

The TV stand is up! J and I went back to the store today to find the TV stand in-stock. An odd conversation took place at the store:
"Do you need help out with that?" said the man at the counter.
"I've got it if you can open that door," said Jon, gesturing toward the exit door.
"That door is locked. I don't have the key. I can't open it. I would have to call for someone to unlock it," said the man.
Jon looked at me and I looked and him and we left, going out through the other exit that required Jon to navigate around all of the checkout counters and several customers and putting us further from our car. Why did the dude even ask? We should have told him to go ahead and call. I bet he would have found a way to open the door if he was the one carrying the 40 pound box.

In other news, we put the stand together and Jon put everything on it while I was at yoga. It looks great, and everything is up off of the floor.

Now for the pregnancy report--there is nothing new to report. The gals in yoga wondered aloud if they would see me next week. Our walk this morning was good. I had some difficulty at the beginning, but Jon coached me through. I think we are doing some good stuff to prepare for the hard work ahead at the hospital.

9 days to go

This countdown is funny because it is the countdown to the due date. No one has told Jude the due date, so he may be late or early or right on time. Today we attempted to busy ourselves with a trip to the zoo. In order to go to the zoo in July in North Carolina, one must wait for an overcast day with threats of rain. The crowds are smaller and the sun stays hidden most of the day, which entices the animals out into the open. The baboons were by far the most entertaining today, but the rhinos were on the move as well. We also came to the gorilla exhibit at just the moment the silverback was eating some greens. He washed them down by eating a head of cabbage like an apple with his legs crossed.

Did all the walking and animal viewing coax young Jude to make his way into the world? No, my friends, I'm afraid not.

10 days to go

We have 10 days to go until the due date and things are still going well. We are walking at the lake 5-6 days a week for an hour and trying to stay busy during the day. The nursery is ready to go, and all of Jude's clothes and blankets are washed. When mom was here last week, we put up some room darkening shades and valances that really bring the room together. I keep reviewing the information from all of the books we have on labor and delivery and breastfeeding and infant care, but there is only so much ready you can be for something you have never experienced before. We are going to have the carseat installed this week. (Thank you C&A!) The other half of the "travel system," the stroller, is in the dining room. It's pretty neat and really brings about that parent feeling.

While the aerial view of my belly, the one I can see, hasn't changed much, strangers seem to notice it more now that it is quite far out. A woman at the lake told me I looked beautiful a few days ago and a little girl at The Loop in K-ville stared at me everytime I went by. Some people just smile at me.

We're going to try to take care of some other errands through the week. One biggie is getting a stand for our TV. We sold the table the TV was sitting on because the current setup didn't seem very baby safe and left lots of wires and pretty buttons right in the path of a crawler. We, however, did not have a replacement plan in place, leaving our TV sitting on the floor alongside the other electronics. Of course, baby Jude won't be crawling for months, but the dogs keep standing in the path of the remote!