We're here to feed Jude and say goodnight, and he's looking as good as ever. However, I'm as upset as I've been all day. Last night I knew he was stable, but the swallowing thing worried me all night. Now he's just as stable, but he's shivering every few minutes. The nurse, when we called her attention to it, told us that she knew and that she was keeping an eye on it. She said it was not uncommon for infants who had been through a lot of stress and difficulty to get jittery as they get tired. Jude did have a big day, we fed him, played with him, held him, messed with him, lots of stuff. I can see where he would be exhausted. Still though, anytime the EEG says watch out for seizures and he's shivering, I can't help but get scared.
I really do trust the nurses and pediatric staff here so much. they've been so wonderful with Jude and his care. It's just hard to see, and hard not to worry. When you think you've lost him once, then you get your hope back, it's precarious for a while. My brain knows this is nothing to worry about, but it needs to communicate better with the rest of me.
I really don't mean to be a downer. My spirits are good. I guess I'm tired and, well, hypervigilant.
Tonight we told Jude all about the bears he was allowed to trust and not trust.
Trustworthy:
Paddington (a gentleman)
Baloo (don't go to the jungle to see him, though)
Care (except for the one with the cloud)
Gummi (tasty)
Hair Bear Bunch (hippies)
Bears from toilet paper commercial (sellouts, but well-meaning)
Non-trustworthy:
Grizzly
Polar (except at zoo, only behind fence)
Teddy Ruxpin (actually a robot)
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8 comments:
There's nothing scarier than Teddy Ruxpin.
No life.
no LIE, I meant.
Next time you get a chance to sit and chat with your son you may also want to mention the following friendly bears...
Pooh (duh!)
Smokey (only he can prevent forest fires)
Yogi (who doesn't love a picnic loving bear?)
Helpful advice from "Aunt" Chrissy and "Uncle" Carter
You are never a downer, sweetie.
Wishing you the best,
M
Little Bear is also a friend.
You and your family are in my thoughts. I do remember that feeling. I know it's of no comfort to hear that it's normal, though it is, so I will hope that it brings you some comfort to know that all the less-than-stellar feelings you're having right now do ease in time.
Jon & Amanda - your words are heartwrenching yet inspiring. Thanks for sharing it all with us.
Welcome, beautiful baby Jude!
P.S. Jude, I see that your dad listens to odd music but I will lend you some Evanescence and Linkin Park so it will be okay.
NOOOO! BUTT-ROCK!
More bears for consideration ...
Dancing Bear (Captn Kangaroo): everyone needs a little dance now & then
Teddy: (non Ruxpin) benevolent & brown, a stable friend
Fozzie: bad jokes aside, he's harmless
Berenstain Bears: teach lots of useful lessons
The 3 Bears (as in Goldilocks &): Helpless crime victims - avoid
Chloe votes a definite YES for befriending polar bears. The zoo rule is definitely a good rider for that rec, though.
Pooh: aside from promoting a perpetual sweet tooth, he's pretty harmless ...+ he advocates "think, think, think"
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