Barrow Axtero

There's a new villain in our house, Barrow Axtero. Jude, Captain America, told us, Thor (Mom), Wolverine (Dad), Hulk (Clara), and Iron Man (Lucy) about him this morning. He's a shadow, walks on the ceiling, and he steals pugs only to put them in the trashcan.

I think this inspired Jude's creativity.

Jude sings Thanksgiving

My media assistant has an ISBN

So when I came into my new job, I had no idea what my assistant would be like. Would we get along? Would we have the same goals? Would she like gardening, dogs, and food like me? Well, as it turns out, she is 100 shades of awesome. Betty runs circles around me each day, loves the kids, loves having a great library space AND she is a gardening goddess, has a sweet dog, and is ever down for a mini-Twix break.

Betty's main claim to fame is a tutoring program she founded in the media center for the many refugee children we have at our school. The program is wonderful and she describes its inception and challenges in the book. The real jewels are the personal stories of the children who have gone to our school. Not every story is happy, as the child only spends so many hours a week at school, but the insight into their lives is so valuable to me as an educator. Another significant part for me was the degree to which each group of refugees in different. Some remember their country, some were born in refugee camps, some have escaped through jungles, some attended school in the past, and others have never sat in a desk.

I scooped up a copy immediately, and mine was the first book she signed. I work each day alongside an author. Pretty dang cool.

Vids

One of these videos is from Jude's birthday playdate where the kids create their own eXtreme version of ring-around-the-rosie. The second is Jude taking the slide at the Caniac Carnival.

We moved and other newness

I haven't been posting as much in general since Jude has been mobile, but lately we've been in a real writing dry spell because we moved! We are back in our North Carolina hometown of Winston-Salem. I have a new media coordinator job in Greensboro, Jon has a new grant evaluation job in Winston, and Jude will start a new preschool in a couple weeks. Yea for new things!

One of the bright spots of the move is our transition out of an apartment and into a house. We did not buy the house we are living in, just renting for now, but we are so happy to have a yard again! We also have a den and a screened in porch that we are very much enjoying. The pugs are especially enjoying the lack of stairs at the new house.

What will we miss most about Raleigh? C&A, our MOB friends, Piebird's peanut butter pie, being close to the beach, Neomonde, the many brunch options, being in Caniac Country, the many offerings at the MVP Sports Factory in Wake Forest, North Hills Farmer's Market, Marbles, someone else mowing the grass, and a Starbucks in my usual Target shopping location. Luckily all of these folks and things aren't that far away.

What are we happy to have back in Winston? The chance to get together with Winston friends (Brian and Deborah!, the Websters!, and many more!), Dewey's, a bit less chaos on the interstate, The Loop, Salem Kitchen/Village Tavern/Salem Tavern, walks at Salem Lake, diners with Greek food, more locally owned and budget friendly places to eat, and Terry's Deli though technically it's in Kernersville, a baseball team in town, and the chance to see some Demon Deacon sports.

These pics are Jude at basketball in Wake Forest at the Factory and Jude in the apartment doing downward dog. The kid loves some yoga.

More to come!

Hey Diddle Diddle

Jude Laughing

Jon heard about something called Cute Roulette, and we sat down and watched a few videos. Jude was amused. This was his fave http://youtu.be/qaXmSxcdO5w.

Jude shouts the NHL

Jude is a big hockey fan. He spends part of everyday pretending to be a Hurricane and wearing his jersey. When we were at the NHL Fan Fair, he got a hockey sticker book and he's loving it. He's got just about all the team logos down.

A little this, a little that

First, just let me brag on my husband a little. I was sick this week, and, Boy Howdy, I mean sick. Dehydrated and weak, I drug myself out of bed Monday morning and made it to the couch. Jon didn't bat an eye about staying home for a few hours, getting Jude started on the day, taking care of the dogs, and going to the grocery to buy me the biggest jug of Gatorade available. I'm still not sure what happened, virus (though Jude and Jon are both fine) or some type of food poisoning issue, but it was U-G-L-Y. I was so thankful to have Jon here to take care of things and keep the household going. I am so thankful to feel better though my stomach is being a little weird.

Let's see, next I bought Jude a water bottle for soccer with a snack cup in the bottom. A Mom I

know from Little Gym has 2-year-old triplets and runs a monogramming business at night and on the weekends. And no, I have no idea how she does it. It turned out so cute! It's Carolina Hurricanes colors to boot. Jude picked the paper out, but I'm not sure he remembers, so I'm excited to surprise him with it. He's only had a few things with his name on them before.

In other news, in case you didn't hear me talking about it on Plurk, Facebook, Twitter, or screaming from the rooftops, Jon and I learned to curl. We went to a class put on by Triangle Curling Club. It was a blast! They said we would know how to curl before we left, and we did! I can't say that I'm a master or anything, but I can slide that 42 pound rock 140 feet down the ice while balancing on one

foot that is sliding on a piece of Teflon. So awesome! This pic is me throwing with Jon sweeping. There were several jokes when Jon and I were finally able to sweep together. ;) Our team played 3 ends against another team during the lesson and we won 3-0. Prodigies? You betcha.

Jude's been mega-entertaining lately. He's taken to acting like a cat sometimes and asking for "cat juice" and a "cat snack." Tonight he took things up a notch by meowing "Let's Go Canes." Jon and I totally jumped in. Also, we're really working on potty training. Jude has already earned his first reward. He stayed dry all day, and we took him to Chuck E. Cheese's. He's still talking about it. Also, those tickets are goofy. Prizes are 1 cent or 1 ticket. We skipped the line and payed 20 cents for a piece of candy and a sheet of stickers, and Jude was quite content. Now Jude's working on staying dry 3 days in a row to earn a big boy bed i.e. we convert his crib to a toddler bed with rails. He's 2 days in!

Graduate school is finally winding down, and I just might graduate! There have been a number of difficulties with my master's paper, but through a very supportive husband and advisor, I might just squeak in by the deadline. Graduation is on Mother's Day, so I'm kind of emotional about that. I'll save that for another post.

Everything will be ok

I need this t-shirt and possibly this phrase tattooed on my forearm, so I can reference it daily. :)

Compassion

Don't beat yourself up!

Don't judge yourself!

Rest, and be kind!

I put a quote from the Buddha on my Facebook page tonight: "If compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." Within a few seconds 2 friends had "liked" my status, and two had commented--all were women and 3 were moms. Now my sample is skewed a bit because more women read and care about my status messages in general, but I think it also has a bit to do with women knowing they should be more forgiving of themselves.

I had lunch with a friend recently, and she too was talking about how bad someone else was making her feel about herself. She was turning the other persons actions inward and then being critical of herself! This was no regular chica; she totally rocks as a mama and does it times two. I was astounded she was so down on herself and for nothing! But then fast-forward to today, and I completely missed a commitment I had made to volunteer this morning at a local school library. I mean just completely spaced out and did not even think about it until 6:40 p.m. I feel completely awful. Feelings of failure, like I can't possibly be redeemed. Like my friend, I put everything on myself despite it being an honest mistake.

Let's see, I'm potty training my kid, both cars need oil changes, trying to work on my master's paper despite red tape and delays at every turn, hunting for jobs, laundry, dishes, classes, making dinner, pug wrangling. What was I expecting? One of the balls was bound to drop, and today it did. Yet, here I sit on a planet that is continuing to turn despite my mistake. Every thing is fine, really. Jude is sleeping, Jon is pug wrangling, and I have time to write this and watch t.v.

I'm working really hard, and have been for the past year, to reset these neural pathways that always send me to self-criticism and judgement. I think I can be reflective and grow and learn from mistakes without taking myself to gallows every time I forget to put the clothes in the dryer.

I think of the Lisa Loeb song, "Wishing Heart." Sorry to go all 90s on ya, but I love that song. At one point she says, "I just want this to be good, I just want this to be good." I feel that so much. You set up everything to run smoothly and to be perfect, and then life happens and you realize you can't think of everything. It's the path of the perfectionist, "Perfectionists often experience intense anxiety, shame, anger or low mood when their standards or goals are not met, and perfectionism may affect people's functioning by causing them to spend too long on tasks, procrastinate or avoid tasks altogether." For me today, I was focusing so much on one area (that's the spending too long on tasks part) and missed my appointment. I won't even tell you how long it takes me to vacuum; it's embarrassing.

Toward the end of the song, Loeb says, "It's not always candy spun from head to heart, And it's not always meant to be, And it's not always up to me." Each of these three things applies on different days in different ways. I just foul things up sometimes. I have to be forgiving. I told my friend Anne a few months ago that, "The world will not end if you f**k up the Play-Doh," as she was having trouble helping out in her daughter's school. So I am trying to take my own advice by continuing to work on completing my compassion.

The White Stripes

Jude, who is currently very obsessed with playing the Rock Band drums, declared himself to be Meg White all day and Jon was Jack White. (I was still Mom). We haven't broken the news to him that the White Stripes broke up a couple of weeks ago. Just doesn't seem like the time.

Jon and I were able to see the White Stripes in Portland, ME in 2007, the summer we decided to have Jude. They were the soundtrack to 2007 for us. I'm sure I wrote about it somewhere. I have often proclaimed the White Stripes to be my favorite band. Jon even wrote a song about Meg White, which you can listen to. I love creative constraints, and a two-person band has many. Jack White pushed out against the bubble of the band's limits until it popped.

I hate that Jude may never see the White Stripes in concert because it is awesome. How can 2 people make sooo much music? However, we did get to see Ben Folds Five play the entire Reinhold Messner album front-to-back years after the band had broken up but not so many years that it was weird or bad. I have hope!

Jude tricyle

This is another video from January when we revealed Jude's tricycle to him. Prior to this he had only seen the picture on the box. It's dark at the beginning because it was early in the morning.

NHL Fan Fair

Thanks to C&A, we were able to go to the NHL Fan Fair, which took place during All-Star game weekend here in Raleigh. Here are some of the highlights, including Jude being used as a human shield. This was in January.

Happy (almost) spring

Sorry about the lack of posts here. I am primarily posting things on Facebook these days since Blogger can be kind of clunky. Things here have been very busy at times with Jon changing jobs and me in school. Other times, we have just been very lazy about posting because we're hanging out together, out and about, or just enjoying being a family in our own little Brasfield world. Here are some pics and video to catch you up.

One video is Jude playing the Rock Band Drums. We've been putting off buying the game because of how expensive it was at one time, but we snagged this one and all the instruments from Craigslist a few weeks ago and haven't looked back. We usually play a few rounds after dinner as a fam.

Another video is Jude reading the alphabet from a book. It's funny because he starts out singing it to the tune that Alpha Pig uses on "Super Why?" but gets a little ahead of himself and goes back to beginning.

There are some pics from around the house, and one of Jude and Tuomo Ruutu #15 on the Carolina Hurricanes. Ruutu is the first player Jude has met from his very favorite sports team. Most days, Jude spends at least part of the day pretending to be Eric Staal, who he will very readily tell you is #12 and the captain. He then assigns roles to whomever else is present--we're Cam Ward, Jeff Skinner, Tim Gleason, Coach Paul Marice, etc.

Jude also likes to pretend we're the Beatles. He's Paul McCartney, Jon is John Lennon, I am George Harrison, and Grandpa is Ringo. Jude's favorites on Beatles Rock Band are "Come Together" and "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."

Just a quick thought.

Remember when we were worried about speech development? Remember when we didn't know? He told his grandparents he "saw dinosaurs at the museum today." A stranger asked if he drove downtown today, and he said, "When I'm 16, I can drive." He told his daycare provider that the president's name is "Obama," and he was the only kid present who knew. A guy at the airport said, "He must be almost 3." Nope, friend, not even 2 and a half.

I just want to cry with joy.